I feel like I am falling... I feel like everything I have known to be true these past few months inwhich I have grown acustomed to have mutated into something completely different. In the past month I have been blessed with 2 new jobs, and released of one old one. My home life has gotten so bad that I only speak to one other person in my house, and I fear for my life everytime I walk into my door. I still as though the church is my home, but now it holds a new meaning, with new people, and new duties. The family I thought I could rely on inside the church has changed. I feel as though I have grown closer to new people, and at the same time grown farther away from the people I thought would never leave or foresaken me. But I guess nothing in this world is realiable, and nothing ever stays the same. I have gained loved, and lost it, and I have grown in it in new ways.
I want to grow up, but not old. I want to love, and not loose. I want to live, and let be. But none of things can happen without alone. I know my Abba will always provide a shoulder, a hug, a wisper, a laugh, a tear, a hope... I want to go Home, but I want to finish what God has started for me before I was even born. Who can tell me what and for how long? no one.
2 comments:
stacey ur awesome! and God has some great plans for you! i was always told this people are put in your life for a season sometimes when we need the most...
i am praying for u and if u need anything i'm here =)
Stacey, know that yours is not an uncommon experience. We have all been there where we learn that the "forever" things aren't always so. My advice, hang on. Ask God to open your eyes to the relationships that are around you and the people that love you. Try not to focus on the those that are lost, but concentrate on those that are here. Trust me, I have been there very recently. Bitterness can grow quickly when we have the wrong focus and attitude. Protect yourself from that. I am here if you need to talk.
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